Who am I? I am Phoenix A stupid name, yes I mean it Who am I? I'm a sad sack of shit but you're better off saying I'm a fucking dick Who am I? I'm a fraud copying lyrics for an unearned applaud Who am I? I am garbage pretending I'm a real artist Who am I? I am fat devouring food like a rat Who am I? I am shit I am shit I am shit I am shit I am a fucking copycat and all of my songs sound like ass how can you listen to this crap? this isn't real music, this is shit I can't write a chorus, I can't even rhyme I can't have thoughts that are truly mine I can't play guitar well, I can't sound good I can't sing for shit, I can't entertain all this loathing is hurting my brain this isn't fucking punk, so am I a poser? one thing for certain, I am a loner people clap at open mics tell me I sound good but they just do that to not be rude I know my songs are horrible I feel it in my bones it's everywhere I go It’s everywhere I go My life's work will never be good enough and I will always be a stupid fuck and I know the only reason people think it's decent is because I'm still a motherfucking kid fuck being 16 and fuck my shitty music sad sack of shit has songs full of shit a mouth full of shit and a guitar playing it please stop singing, please stop yelling you're god awful don't you know it

well I guess that I want to die but I don't mind living life I just wish I wish there was a point and I pretend singing makes me happy but I look back and it sounds crappy I just wish I wish I could enjoy it And I wanna talk to people but I don't think they wanna talk to me I just wish I wish I wasn't so shitty and I hope that you can understand but you probably don't understand I just wish I wish more people liked me But you have to like yourself for people to like you I just wish I wish it worked another way But I could change if I want to I could make myself seem cool I just wish I wish I gave a shit but I wish a lot of things I wish that I was helping I wish wishes really made a difference but if wishing did anything then I'd give your phone a ring and I'd say everything's gonna be okay but it's not, no everything is terrible and I'm saying shit, that you already know and I am sad and alone and you are sad and alone oh fuck, we're all sad and alone And I really wish I had 3 wishes and I guess that if wishes were fishes well then, then I'd still fucking stink but wishing doesn't mean anything no nothing really means anything I just wish I wish something mattered if there's no point to anything then I should probably stop singing but no, I won't fucking do that cause I need my sanity intact cause I'm a sad damn sack and no, I won't fight back and I am so fucking scared and I am scared of being alone I just wish I wish things were better but they'll really never be no nothing really gets better I just wish I wish it didn't get worse

I've been so sad for so long I don't remember being happy I've been like this since I can remember I can't envision away the crappy can I even get any better or am I at my capacity is there any point to self-improvement if it'll just be worse will I like who I am if I'm happy or will it be a curse is that shit even worth trying or will I leave in a hearse And if I was happy what would people think of me what would I say to them who would I be and if I was happy how the hell would I sing how the hell would I write songs that weren't annoying cause truth is I don't wanna write a love song but I still wanna be in love and truth is I use my sadness for fuel it motivates me to sing and truth is I hate all these fucking songs but if I didn't sing them I'd amount to nothing and truth is I'd like to be happy please let me be please let me be please let me be be happy

Got the person I like on my side Don't have a bad thought in my mind and of course, I don't wanna die cause I enjoy living life I got friends and stories to tell I'm so glad my life's not hell I have no obligations and no schedules I have no money but I'm not hungry everything just seems to work out somehow, somehow and no one annoys me including me I can look into the mirror and say it's all gonna be okay oh shit wait it's already great AND THEN I WAKE UP I can't believe that was just a dream now I face the reality I can't believe that didn't exist that makes me all kinds of pissed and now I gotta go to school and I don't feel very cool and oh shit my eyes still hurt I guess I'm still tired another fucking day of this I'm so fucking sick of this just want some goddamn change and I'll take anything just get me away from the mundane just get me away just get me away and I wish I was in a coma cause then I could dream forever but I should really stop being unrealistic and try my best to change the future for the better it'll be better I really hope it gets better but it's already better than before Cause I got my best friend living with me and I hope he likes my family and I think my songs are becoming less sad because I think I'm a little less sad I hope you guys don't mind some happiness now and then I'll try to keep it on the down low cause these songs are still about the worst parts of my brain the things I need to let out and I know they're often horrible but I'm not just sad That's just all I have to sing about and I'm so god damn sorry

all my dreams are down in the gutter and you'll finally break down and watch me fucking stutter all of my words with booze in my breath little in the heart, and incentive of death and at this moment I ain't got a friend not you or him or anyone to lend their time and care, and love and crap well let this be my epitaph and all of you are starting to see the pathetic shithole they call me an asshole without friends an asshole without feelings, an asshole without money or much of anything And I guess I'll try to face the void alone but all I do is stay at home playing bullshit, crying rivers all this complaining gives me shivers I don't need a better body image I need a better fucking brain but let's stop that talking because it's never fucking happening cause nothing ever does in a world that destroys dreams a world that people fuck you over just to be mean and I hate you, and I hate me and I think I might hate everybody and that's no way to live I've lost the will to give and I think I'm slipping, giving up there's no one to help me up on my feet, with a smile and a greet no I don't deserve that, that's not me I guess this is what I'll forever be a worthless fuckhead with no belief Yeah, that's me just some dude that doesn't like being lonely

flies run into mirrors, and so does everyone else chasing things they think are real happiness is a fairy tail I don't want to be a downer but that's all ever seem to be I don't want to be a loner but how could anyone really love me I thought about dying last night I thought about how hard it would be I thought about thinking it over I thought about jumping I thought about not existing but I can't do that, cause I think people care at least enough to listen to my complaints, roll another joint cause this is how I cope I am a fly, trapped inside a lightbulb the heat's beating down on my back and I can't take it but I can't leave because I'm trapped I'm always trapped screaming, hurting, suffering, a slow death and now my wings are burning and so is my brain so now all that think of is an escape

So you wake up and go to work or school you drink coffee that tastes like piss and you think you're looking kinda cool but you don't really give a shit you make money that your only gonna use on shit you don't need or that you abuse you feel lonely and sad every fucking day and most of the time you don't feel okay how do you live your life when you want to die how do you talk to people when your first instinct is to cry how do you write a song when you're stuck worrying how do you smoke a bong when you know you won't win my mind keeps going to this special place a place that I do hate an old man lying in a hospital bed near friends and family his thoughts are filled with deep regret and that old man is me and I don't know how to change the fact this'll happen inevitably I don't wanna waste my life on things like working cause at the end of the day you still end up hurting and this shit scares the hell out of me and I thought about it every night since the day I turned 9 I don't wanna waste my life I don't wanna waste my life I don't wanna waste my life I don't wanna live my life in a world that I hate and I've accepted there's no changing it so I guess I'll have to change my mind but that's not happening so I guess I'll just be miserable and I guess the whole world will know or at least the 50ish people that listen to my songs my music won't go anywhere and people tell me to cut my hair and I don't wanna be in debt for the rest of my life so fuck college, debt collectors, and payment plans but I know I'll be in debt for the rest of my life cause I'm a goddamn American and I know I won't be in control of the rest of my life cause I'll be working and I know I'll hate the rest of my life cause I hate everything but fuck it, whatever, I don't really care and I guess I'm happy sometimes, so I guess I won't die but that doesn't mean I like my life whatever man, goodnight

I hate the world and myself but I wish I didn't I hate myself and the world but I wish I didn't I hate fucking everything but I wish I didn't I hate the world and myself but I wish I didn't Why can't reality be different why do we live like we live why don't duck monsters control alien spaceships I hate the world and myself but I wish I didn't Why can't I be decent I am such a piece of shit I am not worth any hype because I fit a stereotype I hate the world and myself but I wish I didn't I hate the world and myself but I wish I didn't

Well all the Apostles, they're sitting in swings Saying, "I'd sell off my Savior for a set of new rings And some sandals with the style of straps that cling best to the era" So all of the businessers in their unlimited hell Where they buy and they sell and they sell All their trash to each other But they're sick of it all And they're bankrupt on selling And all of the angels, they'd sell off your soul For a set of new wings and anything gold They remember the people they loved, their old friends And I've seen through 'em all Seen through 'em all And seen through most everything All the people you knew were the actors All the people you knew were the actors Well, I'll go to college and I'll learn some big words And I'll talk real loud, goddamn right I'll be heard You'll remember the guy that said all those big words He must've learned in college And it took a long time until I came clean with myself I came clean out of love with my lover I still love her, loved her more When she used to be sober and I was kinder

I wanted to buy locally but went to walmart instead Everyone in there looked like they were dead I would go elsewhere, not act like a sheep But their prices are too fucking cheap I know their stores are ran on the backs of slaves Making 3rd world countries look more like graves The workers there are poor as shit Where a day of work makes you 50 cents We all watch as those bastards destroy the planet Poisoning the oceans, fracking mountains for granite The trees fall fast and grow real slow They’ll ruin the world, don’t you know? I can’t believe these monsters are human They’ll kill us all They’ll be our fall No way to stall But I try to Raise my fist, curse the government Of course I’m anti-establishment Give myself labels, I’m an anarchist But nothing’s really being done Even with this song now sung Money still rules the world And these forces we fight Are so damn full of might That I fear we’ll never be free To be free, oh to be free But we go to work almost every day Eating chemicals, that’s not okay Hierarchies in the big old city Live just became pretty shitty We spend money on shit we don’t need But we all want more, we’re obsessed with greed Working all the time just to make the means You’ll never live your fucking dreams And your boss gets payed way more than you Not appreciating all the work you do They just sit on their ass It’s your fault for being middle class You can enjoy life if you can afford not to work I wish I was rich Not have to be a bitch Never sleep in a ditch But at least I Raise my fist, curse the government Of course I’m anti-establishment Give myself labels, I’m an anarchist But nothing’s really being done Even with this song now sung Money still rules the world And these forces we fight Are so damn full of might That I fear we’ll never be free To be free, oh to be free Most the congressmen are in the one percent It’s an oligarchy, our establishment You’ll never be the president For that to happen you gotta be rich We can’t stop them with protest, riot, or war It just so happens their guns are bigger than ours All empires days are numbered, eventually we’ll smash it But I fear this one’s death will be the planet’s But that shit really bums me out This is where I’ll live, this is where I’ll die But I just really wanna cry cry cry But I’m disappointed so all I do is sigh The elite dictate all our fucking lives There’s only one way to live Can’t afford to give Have to be combatative But at least I Raise my fist, curse the government Of course I’m anti-establishment Give myself labels, I’m an anarchist But nothing’s really being done Even with this song now sung Money still rules the world And these forces we fight Are so damn full of might That I fear we’ll never be free To be free, oh to be free But at the end of the day what the fuck can I do? We’ll never be free, I know this is true I’ll graduate school, start work at walmart Lie to myself, say it’s just a start Wake up early, buy shit I don’t need I’m making money, I’m repressing my dreams I’ll end up living a sad shit life Just waiting for the day I die And when I do it’ll be so cool Never again act like a tool But I’ll be free just like I strived It’s just too bad I won’t be alive Oh no

my heart won't stop pounding it's beating in my chest my body won't stop shaking I'm trembling in my bed and my brain won't stop thinking and my mouth won't stop breathing and my eyes won't stop blinking and my mind won't stop reading I want this to stop so fucking bad I want you to come home and find me dead I want to show you fuckers what it means to be sad I want release from my insanity I want a bullet in my head and I've been staring at this bottle of rubbing alcohol for hours thinking what would happen if I downed the whole thing I wish I had the goddamn courage to take a fucking swig and on nights like these I swear to fuck I'd do it if I wasn't a huge pussy and on nights like these I'm thankful for my towel for soaking up all my tears and snot and on nights like these I write stupid punk songs cause how else do I let it out and on nights like these there's nothing I hate more than myself and on nights like these the only thing I need is a goddamn reason to breathe now I hate everything and I hate everyone I hate this dying planet and I hate the fucking sun I hate the way it shines I hate the heat it makes can't you see I'm already hot and hives take over my skin and all you fucks can see the constant worry inside of me and it's hard to hide that shit and I feel like an attention seeking dick when you make your comments I just wish this would stop I want it all to stop I just wish I'd fucking drop to the ground and god knows I shouldn't be alive I know for certain I deserve to die I haven't contributed to anything in my miserable fucking life and what kind of asshole says he hates himself but only writes songs about himself fuck you Phoenix you stupid piece of shit let's better this world one death at a time as long as you, start with mine I'll rip the strings outta my guitar tie them together, not making it far wrap them around my fucking neck and soon enough you'll see me dead And at least I can fucking say

I am dumb I am sad I am numb I am mad But I don’t know if these feelings are just in my head I don’t know if my subconscious mind wants me dead It’s really hard to understand the human brain But I won’t end this now, no, not today Everything I make is a disappointment Every word I say is a waste of breath And we all know that life is pointless Everything is because of death But I don’t care And I don’t mind I don’t know Fuck the mind But I know these emotions are killing me inside I just wait around as they devour my mind And I don’t really see a point in going on I have no hope for what’s to come But I don’t wanna disappoint the ones I love I don’t want them to see me die I don’t want them to come undone I don’t want them to say goodbye I’d end it now But I care I’d kill myself But I’m too scared If you feel sad, if you feel alone If you feel the way I do, please don’t give up hope Just do the things that make you happy Do them until you die Do the things that you enjoy And try your best not to cry Fill your life with things you love And fuck all the rest Don't you know It’s all bullshit anyway So try your best to live another day And eventually You might be happy

I used to want to die so bad I wanted a bullet in my head I was sad, I was so fucking sad I used to be so fucking mad I wished that I was dead I was angry I was so fucking angry I used to have an abusive friend he didn't care about me then He was dumb and I really regret it I used to sing all by myself share my songs with no one else they were bad but I'm still glad I sang them I used to be so miserable I dug myself a giant hole but now, now I'm getting better But I know I will Get through this I'm improving every day I'll be okay I don't really wanna die it's been way harder to cry I'm not as sad I'm not as mad I made some new friends don't need the old one they actually care about me so fuck you theory you using piece of shit and fuck your animal abusing parent I'm done being your bitch you can neglect someone else I'm out of my hole I've found a home I smile more and more I smite the floor and I reach for the ceiling I'll live my fucking dreams I'll be part of the scene I'll play more than 2 shows and I will be who I wanna be I'll look in the mirror and I will see a person that I love, a person I respect a person that I can live with